O elderly little asian man in harvard square
who plays that bizarre-looking chinese fiddle,
sure, your music sounds like what you'd hear
if you shoved a cattle-prod up some poor cat's ass,
or like the nasty metallic shriek of the green-line train
when it finally comes to a slow screeching halt,
or, better yet, like the shrill squeal of a tea-kettle
or the insufferable sound of chalk-board-scratching,
but, even so, my friend,
i can dig it.
i'm sure it must drive dogs nuts, people too,
'cause it sounds so out-of-tune to our western ears.
but then, i'm sure the tough-as-nails grit of that
savage electric guitar being played across the street
by that tattoo-sleeved sleaze-bag with the face like a pin-cushion,
probably sounds equally as alien to your ears.
holy shit, can you play that thing fast,
shredding like some gung-ho guitar-hero high on cocaine.
and, for fuck's sake, there isn't even a fingerboard
on that little two-string bamboo fiddle of yours,
not even a fretboard to guide you and, what's more,
you're not even looking at the freakin thing when you play it.
no, you're staring off blankly into space,with a look of
ferocious concentration on your wrinkled face,
playin your heart out for a kleenex-box full of
the nickles and dimes of a couple slack-jawed yuppies.
now, that's talent.
then again, i can't help but think that maybe, just maybe,
that instrument you play, whatever the hell it is,
wouldn't actually sound as grotesque as it does now,
if it were in the hands of other more capable musicians.
that's right, man, i said it:
maybe you just suck royally at it.
maybe all the other chinese-born immigrants passing by
are thinking to themselves:
'damn, this guy fuckin blows.
why the hell are all these people giving this asshole money?
he sounds like he's sodomizing a goddamn cat!
what a buncha morons.'
if that's the case, then well done, sir. touché.
i've greatly under-estimated the scope of your genius.
and don't you worry, my half-pint friend,
your ancient chinese secret will be safe with me.
day-in day-out, you may be bilking all us
naive american suckers out of our hard-earned cash,
passing off your total lack of talent
as exotic musical prowess, but you know what,
it's really alright with me because
if that ain't the american dream in action,
then i don't know what is.
BRAVO.
ADDENDUM:
so, i did a little research online and it turns out the instrument in question is called a JINGHU. i pulled up the wikipedia page and, lo and behold, there HE was on the webpage. a photo of the very same musician performing at the very same harvard square street-corner. well, i'll be goddamned.
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